break my heart for what breaks yours.

so today was probably the best monday ive had in a really long time. believe it or not. i mean, logically, it really shouldnt have been. it shouldnt have been good at all. and it was. because my God can take the crappiest of situations and make me the happiest person in spite of it all. and i dont even know why im happy. or how he did it. i just woke up this morning and said, "you know what, God, im not dealing with this." and it worked. it really worked. you dont really understand the awesomeness of God until you experience his healing power on your own. you cant even begin to grasp it. holy cow, amazing much? i think so.

im so excited about new york. and im so excited about the summer. and christmas at disney. and my future. im just excited. almost like theres no point in doing anything but looking forward. i mean, why look back when theres so much going on in the future?

i really like music. its hard for me to save money because i want to buy every song that i hear. and 99 cents per song adds up after a while. haha. ive been leaving fourth block a lot lately to join the jazz band and its gotten me really into jazz music. seriously, im a freak of nature. but im passionate and ive only recently found that out. im passionate about a few things in my life. and passion definitely makes life worth living. one day when i get into a serious relationship, like with the guy im gonna end up marrying that passion is really going to pay off. and i will take off. and feel love like God has intended for me to feel. not this fake stuff that we try so hard to find. and just end up hurting like heck in the end.

im thankful for the smart ones in my life. the ones who actually care about me. and who know whats best for me when im too blinded by my own desires to see it.

i have a spanish test tomorrow. which means i should go study. ah, studying is no fun. no fun at all. goodnight, kids. i love you guys like... a lot. =D