to a truly amazing person:

my throat was abnormally dry. that is my excuse for not saying anything. but its a real excuse. as in, im not lying.

i went into this thing today not expecting anything out of it. or at least i wasnt trying to. but here i am, sitting here, wondering why the heck i didnt hug you while i had the chance. because apparently i dont get another one...

for some reason im a dumb teenage girl and i have problems making words come out of my mouth. because my mind was talking non-stop. but the words were completely lost somewhere. i wanted to say so much to you. but i dont think it wouldve changed a thing. you believe what you believe and not me or anyone else is going to be able to change that. if you believe that its going to happen again then who am i to say its not? i cant promise that. no one can. i can tell you that my ultimate goal is not for us to hurt each other. but im sure no one is thinking that at the beginning of a relationship. so what good would that do?

the problem is this: im willing to, and youre not. and i doubt theres anything i can do to change that. i just wish i could. because i realized tonight that i dont want to be just friends. i dont. i dont. i dont. i dont. and i dont think i can be just friends to be honest with you. i dont think we can be just friends.

ive been wrong about a lot of things before. and this could be one of them. but i didnt want to leave your truck tonight. i dont care how cold it was. or how awkward and intense it was. because it was definitely all of those things. haha. seriously. i wanted to fall asleep there. and i think im absolutely crazy for that.

youre a risk i am willing to take. and i have no idea why. i mean, it doesnt make sense to me. at all. but thats all i keep thinking about. and i feel so certain about it.

you worry about me to much. trust me, ill be okay.

p.s. - i dont need promises. i dont feel comfortable making them anyway.