and our eyes can see far better now than then.

wow. what a day. what a weekend. i have to admit it had its good points. it was mostly good, thats for sure. theres only one thing. one small, or not so small, thing. but today has been the best day ive had in the last... at least month. and because of today i can say with complete honestly that i am trully trusting Him with it. even though i have no idea what it is. but its something, i know. and i really hope it means nothing to you. i hope its something you dont want. because im hurt that you put yourself through it. and ill be even more hurt if you do it again. youre worth way more than that. but, im sure you know that.

symphonic band camp was fun. i was looking forward to it. but a lot of people werent. i guess they have lives. where as my life consists of mostly band. its something im passionate about. but if i had other commitments and other passions then i would probably be the same way. but they lived through it. and we made good music together. =]

i cannot wait to go to Carnegie. seriously, its going to be an amazing experience.

im content with moving on. because thats what you have to do in life. but the good part is we're promised that it will all be okay. and like luna lovegood says on harry potter and the order of the phoenix, "the things you love have a way of coming back to you in the end." thats probably a bit paraphrased but you get my point. and today i had proof of that. they came back. ha, my God has such a way of showing that things are going to be okay. that He's going to take care of every little thing. that i shouldnt be worried. and i honestly believe that promise. with everything thats in me, i believe it. and im so thankful for who He is. and how much He cares about me. enough to show me the little things. and make sure that i know that itll all end up okay. how can there be anything more worthy of devoting your life to?

i cant wait to go back to church. and im so excited about what He has in store for just the next few hours that i cant possibly concentrate on anything else. i know that youll be affected. theres not way you cant be. and you have no idea how excited that makes me. i dont have to worry about you or anyone else. cause my God has shown me that He will change me. and when His love is able to flow through my veins and flood out of my mouth and in every single action you will be affected. there is nothing more attractive than love. and His love is way more than anyone could ever imagine. its completely irrational how much He loves every single person that has lived on this earth. so irrational that you cant help but be drawn to it. trust me, you cant run from this. no matter how much you try.

im so exited. im on such a high. gosh, if only we were so overtaken by His love every day. could you imagine? could you imagine all the people we could affect? could you imagine all the broken hearts that can be completely mended with His love working through us? we all have broken hearts. my broken heart is mended. im happier now than ive been in sooooo long. i dont want to lose this. but i know that if i do, He will still be right here waiting for me to want it back.

ahhh, i have nothing more to say.
my God is indescribable.

by the way, i have a job.

=]