here i am again. sitting here at 3 o'clock on a saturday afternoon. on a saturday that ive done absolutely nothing with myself. im still really happy. seriously, my God never takes a break.
i feel like i totally blew you off today, and im really sorry. even if you dont think of it as a big deal, i do. today was going to be something big for us. it was important. and i feel completely selfish for blowing my best friend off because im "too busy". when the truth is i didnt want to do anything today. its just another way that my selfishness got in the way. and i will make it up to you, i promise.
there's probably a lot of things i could say about you right now. and whats going on. or if anything is going on. but to tell you the truth i dont want you on my mind right now. i hope that doesnt hurt your feelings, i just have better things to look toward. and i dont have time to try to figure things out that will probably end up unfulfilling anyway. ill leave the figuring out to you and listen to what God has to say about this. because He is my one and only.
ive been praying for you. and i dont want you to be confused. seriously, i want you to have what i have. because theres nothing like it. anywhere.
so i have to work tonight. i think i like my job. its fun. even it takes away some time i could be spending with my friends and family. because ive made new friends. and i like them. and maybe somehow i can show them love where they wouldnt get it otherwise. because thats how my God works. He changes things. things that you wouldnt have ever thought could have been changed. amazing, huh? that He is.
im going to new york in two months. im really excited about this. seriously, i feel like its the beginning of my traveling experience. i really do want to travel the world one day. theres so many different cultures out there. so many great things to see. i want to get out of my comfortable little "oh great US of A" box. i dont want to be just another american. i want to be different.
well, i should go get ready for work. or, actually, i havent done my devotion today. and i think thats an awesome idea. i hope everyone has an amazing rest of the weekend.
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i think you should know that i love you. a ridiculously large amount. and that we'll turn another day into our big day. =] wednesday perhapds? yes. mm.
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