It is a beautifully rainy day here in Rock Hill, South Carolina. I don't much care for the rain. I don't much care for cold weather. I do, however, get a good bit of satisfaction from the peace I have inside me.
Never underestimate my Jesus.
I love waking up every morning knowing that what I'm doing now is getting me one step closer to where I need to be. That this process is what will lead me to doing what I've been called to do. I'm studying to do something that I will love.
Why try to rush things? Yes, the thought of marriage and being a mom really excites me. But that is so far away. Right now I'm here to get a degree. I'm here to learn about myself and about what I believe. And maybe, just maybe, throughout the whole process I can be a vessel to show the love of God to everyone I come in contact with.
Focus isn't usually a consistent characteristic. Its not meant to be easily achieved. It takes a lot of mental dedication. Something I've never really believed I had too much of. My focus is renewed every day. I can't start my day without asking for a reminder of why I'm here. I even found myself, this morning, thanking God for the blessing of being in the situation I'm in. It occured to me that I hadn't once thanked God for allowing me the opportunity to even go to college! How selfish is that? It's a ridiculously amazing blessing that I do not deserve. But God has a purpose. And after all He's done for me, who am I to deny that purpose? I'm living for the sake of His love.
I like this feeling. The feeling of being complete. Sometimes I get a hint of dread at the moment when this feeling will fade. Then I realize that's a waste of time. Because even if the feeling does fade, it will be back. My God never changes. He always stays the same. He's always waiting for me.
He is, and always will be, my rock.
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