I miss having that hand to hold. I miss being able to run to my parents room when there's a storm in the middle of the night. I miss not having to worry about my future. I don't even remember feeling scared of failure as a kid. I don't recall worrying about anything. None of my worries ever lasted more than a few minutes.
My future depends on me now. If I want to achieve my goals, I have to work hard for them. I can't get tired & have someone else go through the process for me and expect to end up with the finished product. It doesn't work that way. It's taxing & difficult. A lot more difficult than I thought. Maybe if I were used to discouragement this wouldn't be so bad. But I'm not. Because I haven't had to deal with anything hard my whole life. It's not that I regret that. I just don't want to have to go through anything like this. But, apparently, it's life.
I need this break. I need church. All day on Sunday. I need encouragement. I need a reminder. A boost from My Father. If He really wants me to do this, I need a real refresher.
For now I just need to get through this Writing midterm. After that's over, I can come home. It's hard to look forward to coming home with a crucial midterm looming over my head. Not to mention my lesson.
Lord, I really need Your help. I'm fading and I have less than 24 hours left. I can't afford to fall apart. Not now.
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