carry all your thoughts across an open field;

well, hey there!
its been a week or so since ive updated so i figured now would be a good time. i was in the living room watching the little mermaid but lee came & him & my dad decided to watch the mummy. in other words, i got kicked out. so my plan was to come in here & just watch it on the laptop. then i got online to check my facebook & whatnot & decided i would get on here & chat a bit. just because i can. :)

these nails are getting quite annoying. i hate typing with them. i hate texting with them. i cant even open a can with them. well, i can. it just takes like 10x longer than normal. im planning on taking them off saturday.

we're supposed to dress kinda nice for the trip to atlanta tomorrow. i dont really know im gonna wear yet. im sure i have something. just flip flops & a t shirt are out of the question. which sucks because thats pretty much what i wear every single day. ha. i guess mr turner just wants us to look a little less ghetto than we really are. im sure he has a reputation he needs to keep up.

i finished that nicholas sparks book today. The Choice was the name of it. it was really good. & im glad it had a happy ending. for the last fourth of the book i was scared it would not end happy. i was surprised. :)
i think now im gonna finish the harry potter series. i was on book four when i started twilight so i guess ill start there. i wasnt too far into it so ill probably just start at the beginning. its a big book. the only thing is im dreading taking it to school everyday. its huge. ha.

i need a job. im almost desperate. i say almost because if i was desperate i would be marching my tail back up to wendys. im trying really hard to get a retail job. or just anything besides something that deals with food. if anyone knows of anywhere thats hiring that would be great. until i hear back from someone about a job, im gonna start looking for babysitting opportunities. after all, i like kids. :)
& ive made a mess with my bank account. my parents have been extremely compassionate & they fixed it for me since my source of income doesnt exist. so the sooner i can pay them back the better. but like i said, im not ready to come crawling back to wendys. i really despise working there.

23 days of school. how awesome is that? ive realized lately that theres really no way i can predict the way my college career will play out. i dont know how ill feel about any of it, honestly. im excited about moving on. but for the first time since the whole excitement started, im started to get nervous. kind of scared. i think its just cuz im unsure. i dont know whats gonna come next. i dont know if anything i see in my future will actually be there. and even though i know that it will be totally okay if thats the case, its all i know right now. & thats always scary to think about losing.

its nearly seven, which is when i said i was gonna be going to bed tonight. i do want to finish the little mermaid before i call it a day, though. i know im a nerd. you dont have to tell me. ;)

im a little nervous tomorrow. but im actually more prepared than i was for concert festival so it should be perfectly fine. after all, its my last band trip ever. i should really try to enjoy this one.

wow, life flies by doesnt it?
crazy.

& i dont know why, i cant keep my eyes off of you;

what a spring break!
let me tell ya, i had a good one. everything that i love & more was all packed in the past few days.
well, without disney world. but thats okay.
God is doing some amazing stuff.
the weather has been amazing.
well, besides the storm this weekend but i dont wanna talk about that...
im falling more in love with Jared every single day.
my friends & i are getting closer.
there are only 31 days left of high school!!!!
prom is this weekend!
i mean, seriously, at this point it cant get much better. :)

im really enjoying life.
& before i go to bed im gonna spend some quality time with my Jesus.
He is the ONLY reason i am so happy with the way my life is going.
& without Him there would be absolutely nothing worth living for.

HAPPY EASTER!
:D

threesixty.

i wrote a new song tonight!
its the first time ive picked up my guitar in a really long time...
i thought id post the lyrics for you guys.
even though it always sounds cuter when i play & sing them. ha.
yea? yea.

here ya go;;

catch your breath
take a look around you
take it all in
i will catch you when you fall
farther than you wanted

take a look
at who youve turned to
and how they ran away
you are free to turn to me
once youve made a 360

i dont have much to offer you
but here i stand anyway
the future that youve planned for you
ill only stand in your way
the choice is yours to make
the risk is yours to take
just know that im here to stay
you cant drive me away

catch your breath
i will catch you
take a good look
you are free to turn to me
once youve made a 360

spin around, spin around, spin around
spin around, spin around, spin around
[not so sure about that part yet...]

if you get dizzy dont you worry
i will catch you in a hurry

just know that im here to stay
you cant drive me away

if you get dizzy dont you worry
just know that im here to stay
i will catch you in a hurry
you cant drive me away


anywho, it goes something like that.
it was nice to write something after such a long time.
even if it isnt the best thing ive ever written. ha.

there's a wave that's crashing over me;

& all i can do is surrender.

so i spent a lot of time at church today. & i was reminded of alot. one thing is that sure, im saved. & if i were to die right now i have no doubt that i would be going to heaven. but as a christian i have a choice. i can accept Him and just do enough to get by & still feel good about myself OR i can actually live for Him and act in ways that will glorify His name. and although the world gets busy and i find myself really comfortable with where i am, i just dont have peace without knowing that im living my life full out for the One who is gracious enough to give me that choice in the first place.

pastor chitty talked about six verses in the new testament that contain the words: "make every effort to". to me, those words seem like they would only precede something really important. a few of those things i have been lacking lately. like the second; obtaining and offering forgiveness. i usually have never had a hard time forgiving. but i realized today thats because ive never really been seriously hurt before. until lately, when i felt degraded and disrespected on a completely new level. ive been holding a grudge. & its been hurting me, i can tell. so i guess what i need to do now is talk to that person. although, i never want to be walked all over and, like everyone else, id like to be respected and appreciated, forgiveness is a big thing. its not something i, or any other christ seeker, can avoid. its pretty vital to a progressive relationship with God.

but this is a good thing. it means im actually making a sacrifice of myself for once. i dont feel like ive had to do that too much. its almost like everything has been handed to me over the past eighteen and a half years. although, i know thats not completely true i know that ive had an extremely blessed life. so i guess what i should be praying for over the next couple of months is the strength and wisdom to make the right choices went times get tough. because if you ask me, theyre only getting worse from here.

maybe im wrong. but at least ill be mentally prepared.

i was really comfortable at central today. i didnt expect to be. i guess i was wrong about that stage of my life being over. i believe ill have many more memorable weeks at that church. after all, just because im going to college doesnt mean i forget about family.

speaking of college, its definitely getting closer. i graduate in two months. and in two more months ill be moving to rock hill. i wonder what im gonna be feeling when its time to pack up and leave. i dont know if ill be excited or sad. although, im sure ill be both. half of the time i dont even know what im feeling at all, to be honest. either way, the whole college thing is going to be an experience and im anxious to see how its all gonna work out.

prom is in two weeks. it should be fun. we didnt get a limo because we're all broke. well, me and jessica are. but we're riding in an escalade. unfortunately i have to drive it. i might be driving something like an old person. but we'll get around in style at least! haha, sure...

im kind of tired. and im probably going running with jessica around one tomorrow. at least, i hope so. i need to start doing something active. i also need to start eating better. one of the things im looking forward to about college is access to the gym. that should be good for the both of us. lets just pray that we're disciplined enough to take advantage of it.

maybe i should go on to bed... ive been up since 730 anyway.
have a great night, loves!
:)