close up camera one;

its been a while since ive written. and since lately i usually write when i have a reason to, such as venting, which is a very good reason i might add, i figured i would just vomit out random thoughts for a bit. something a little different.

my life seems to be going well at the moment. my dad got a job about a week ago and its bringing in the extra income that we've been without for the past few months. im sure that will make things a little easier on us as a family. i went back to wendys today to get my job back, too. this is good because ill finally have some spending money. if it werent for jared taking me out all the time i wouldnt have had a social life these past few months. although, i dont know how much of a social life it is when you only hang out with one person. which isnt true, sometimes jessica would get so bored that she'd take me out too. haha. either way, i enjoy my "social life".

ive been seeing jared quite a bit lately. its not gonna be as easy now. we both got our jobs back. and we both have school. unfortunately his school work is a lot more time consuming than mine. i think we'll be lucky to see each other once a week. im not gonna lie, its gonna be kinda hard. but maybe only for a little while. i mean, im sure its something ill get used to? either way, i dont have a choice. i mean eventually im going to college an hour away and who knows how often ill be able to see him then. i really hope we're still together by then. i dont see myself losing interest or anything but the weird thing about life is you honestly never know what's gonna happen. and that is exactly why i wouldnt be able to survive without the hope that God gives me. once again, i am extremely thankful for all Hes blessed me with. i want to grow so much. ive been trying to read the Bible more. because everytime i would ask Him to prepare me for whats ahead, whatever it may be, i felt like He was telling me to read His word. it took me a while to figure out that He really was telling me that. that that really is the best way to prepare for things. even though the book is thousands of years old, its amazing how God uses it to teach us new things. of course, amazing is an understatement of what God really is. i wish i had a bigger vocabulary.

im really excited that im about to start my last semester of high school. its gonna fly by, i know it. especially with being involved in indoor. as soon as that ends itll be spring break and then time for prom and then the band banquet, which i am thrilled about, and then boom! im out. graduating. wow. its still hard to imagine how old i am. ha. i remember looking up to seniors as, even a freshman, and thinking they were so old. in reality, they werent. they were just as immature and ignorant as i am now. which, i mean, it could be alot worse. haha. point being, life is more than i ever expected it to be. it trully is an adventure. it sounds so cliche, but i dont know how else to put it.

anyway, i have half a plate of cold food waiting to be taken to the kitchen. and there are still a few NCIS episodes that i havent watched. so i think im gonna watch one and crash. im gonna freak if i sleep twelve hours again tonight. im ready to be over this sickness. the whole dizzy thing is getting old.

goodnight.