the lab report can wait a little longer.

on the way home tonight i couldn't keep my eyes off of the moon. it was amazingly beautiful. which is strange, because it wasnt even full. it was a perfect crescent? the sky was a gorgeous color blue too. i guess it all just fit together to be something that i wanted to look at. the whole perfectness of it didnt last long though. soon i was back home. where things just arent the same anymore...

ive felt a little lost lately. lost in band practice. lost in school work. lost in the thought of my parents being lost.

im so busy with band, in which i play a huge role. im busy with school, in which i enjoy learning and connecting with my teachers and friends. but it seems like the major part of my life, of me becoming who i am, my church... it seems like i dont belong there anymore. and as much as i try to make myself fit... i wonder if things will ever be the same. how long can i make it last? how much longer can i hold onto the way things used to be? when will i finally have to let go and become a whole new person?

ill be 18 in ten days. maybe thats why im asking myself these questions. its kind of stereotypical that my life is completely changing all around my 18th birthday. or is it? is it a stereotype because thats what really happens? i dont see this happening to everyone else...

one thing is certain. no matter what church i end up in, my God will always be the same God as he was when i went to south congaree, or orchard, or central. He never changes. He never has and He never will. and if i can keep that in mind, i'll be just fine. everything will be just fine.