the sky could be blue, i dont mind, without you its a waste of time.

so my life has been busy. what more can you expect, though, in the month of august? with band and school, and occasionally church, i barely have time to breathe... yet alone go out with friends or write blogs. but here i am. its after nine, and other then being in bed i could be studying for my physics test. which is what i should be doing. and what i would be doing, if my night didnt take the turn it did.

i dont really know how to deal with things. thats something ive noticed. usually ill just pray about it, and leave it in Gods hands. which is the best thing to do, dont get me wrong. its just, when you have something that really affects the routine of your life, it becomes a little harder to let it go. trust isnt the issue. i trust God completely with my life. it just hurts along the way. its confusing.

i think for the first time its something that i really do not understand. something that im scared to understand. i dont know what effect it will have on my life. i dont know how it will change things not only a year from now, but a week from now. because its happening, and its happening now, whether i like it or not. and im going to have to make a decision. people may look at me different. i may not be comfortable there anymore. something like this is something you never hope to encounter. a falling out isnt easy to maneuver around.

i have a phone call...

& with every breath that i take, i feel like ive won.

im happy.

band is great.
God is great.

life is really worth living, i promise.

goodnight.

:)

all i gotta say is i mustve done something good

so week one of band camp is over. its been one heck of a ride. i can honestly say that im enjoying every minute of it. as i should be. it is my senior year after all.

we've gotten pretty far in one week. at least in relationship to whats gone on in the past. we can march and play 12 sets. and we have 19 sets on the field. we have some trouble spots... or people... but what band doesnt? its definitely a challenge. but its good for me. and the rest of the leaders. i figure ive spent so much of my high school career doing band that i should get some life skills out of it. ha.

i registered the other day. first semester im taking computer animation, english V, band, government, and physics. woohoo? whatever, im not too worried about the whole acedemic part of school this year, for some reason... it must be a senior thing...

it seems that things in my life have radically changed. our youth group has been taken over and is going really well. im really excited to see what Gods gonna do in those kids... and me, of course. we all know how much work i need. haha.

and then theres that guy. that one guy that makes me feel completely untouchable. time makes a lot of difference, trust me. he makes me smile, constantly. and it doesnt even seem like an option to not be with him. i honestly dont know what it feels like to be in love. but i love the way i feel. ha.

im growing up. way too fast. my last disney trip with my parents is this christmas. its my last year living in this house. things are gonna change, theyve already started to. and who knows how much theyll change next summer. all i know is i feel incredibly blessed to be in the position i am now. i couldnt ask God for more. and i dont deserve any of it.

goodnight, world.
sleep tight.

:)