i will share the air i breathe.

"with every appearance by you blinding my eyes,
i can hardly remember the last time i felt like i do.
youre an angel disguised.

and youre lying real still,
but your heartbeat is fast just like mine.
and the movie's long over,
thats three that have passed, one more's fine

will you stay awake for me?
i dont wanna miss anything
i dont wanna miss anything
i will share the air i breathe,
ill give you my heart on a string,
i just dont wanna miss anything.

im trying real hard not to shake. im biting my tongue,
but im feeling alive and with every breath that i take,
i feel like ive won. youre my key to survival.

and if its a hero you want,
i can save you. just stay here.
your whispers are priceless,
your breath, it is dear. so please stay near.

will you stay awake for me?
i dont wanna miss anything
i dont wanna miss anything
i will share the air i breathe,
ill give you my heart on a string,
i just dont wanna miss anything.

say my name, i just want to hear you.
say my name, so I know its true.
youre changing me, youre changing me.
you showed me how to live.
so just say. so just say,

that youll stay awake for me.
i dont wanna miss anything.
i dont wanna miss anything.
i will share the air i breathe,
ill give you my heart on a string,
i just dont wanna miss anything"


i like that song. i havent listened to secondhand serenade in forever. until like yesterday, and then i realized that they write good songs. especially when youre in such a girly mood. which i must be in lately. because i ate a whole freaking pint of ice cream today. yea, thats ridiculous i know. im not eating for the next 7 days. ha. if only i could actually do that. nah, that probably wouldnt be a good thing.

i think im beginning to get the hang of school again. ive been proud of myself this week. i hope i keep the focus up. maybe even intensify it. i think ive been putting on an act... education really is important to me. i dont exactly know why though. maybe its because i want so much for people to be proud of me. and by people, i mean my parents. and i like the competition of it. ha, i really think thats it. i dont know what these past nine weeks will do to my gpa or anything but i have a feeling that ill be able to make up for it. actually, i know i can. i just have to really want to. so ill be okay in the long run. well, duh. but... i dont know. haha.

i like best friends. and disney movies. and ben and jerrys. and driving. and not having to worry about the future. and, believe or not, i like not always having the answers. yea, i never thought id say that either. lol. but i was talking to jessica today and i just had to say "i dont know what to tell you". and i really dont know why i didnt have anything to tell her. maybe its because im tired of telling people what to do. i feel like im trying to be God. i dont know whats right and i dont know whats wrong. i just know what works for me and what doesnt. maybe im being really "new age" about it, but im tired of trying to figure out things. especially when it comes to God and people's relationships with him. my own is probably way different than anyone elses. but who am i to know, or even judge that kind of thing.

it feels good to have a little break. and yea, that includes not having band. im not sure if i miss it or not. i know what i miss, and thats mr pace. the band people are still the same. we still sound the same when we play music. even if it is concert music instead of marching music. i do miss my freshie claries, though. stupid freshman band class. haha, wow, i dont even know what im saying.

i like being about to be involved at church again. it seems like i always forget how much those people mean to me. because they do mean a lot, and they play a huge role in my life. whatever i was going through earlier was stupid and i feel dumb for thinking the things i thought. i cant leave that church. not anytime soon. thats definitely not what God intended. im so thankful to have parents who know what theyre talking about and im so thankful that ive been blessed with enough sense to listen to them.

you. i dont even know what to say about you. im happy. but you already knew that. and i dont really know whats going to happen. but, i know that this is different then what ive been involved in before. whether or not you agree doesnt matter. i mean, yea i want this to be important to you. but if its not, oh well. theres not much i can do about that. haha. i just want to be around you for now. because for now, thats what makes me happy.

and You. Youre completely amazing.
how is it that Youve decided to bless me with all of this?
how it is that You can be so full of love and mercy?
dont answer that.
just, stay near me.
because there isnt any way i can go one minute without You by my side.

=]