A toast to all things new ;

So, this is it. The last few hours of 2009 are finally here. I literally can't believe it. This year went by so extremely fast. And it seems that the person I was at the beginning of the year is so drastically different from who I am now. My life is different in so many ways. And yet, some things are the same. Which I am thankful for. They keep my sane.

I can't begin to go into detail of why this year was so epic for me. There are just a million and one things that have gotten me to the place I am at this very moment. I know I didn't always make the best decisions & to know that I am no where near too far gone at this moment is such a blessing. I have a chance to do better. A chance that I so want to take. If I have a will strong enough to change, God has given me that opportunity. And, boy, does He deserve for me to take that chance. And I would be so stupid not to. So my prayer for the new year: strength.

I have no idea what it's going to feel like when the clock strikes twelve. I wish I knew what kind of emotions I am going to have but I just don't.

People aren't necessarily liars. Life does get complicated. And it gets complicated quick. I've seen that happen so many times in the lives of those around me. Those I'm close to. All in the span of 12 short months. And, sure, it's gotten pretty complicated for me too. But I just can't help but see my life as one huge blessing. I really thank God for that outlook. I wouldn't be me without it. And I couldn't imagine living life any other way.

At this point in my life it seems like, more often than not, I'm trying to catch a glimpse of what's ahead for me. I think another goal for the new year should be for me to enjoy these next two semesters of college. It's always good to keep the end in mind, especially when I get discouraged, but I shouldn't let another year pass me by while I'm frantically looking for what my life is going to hold five years down the road. I need to learn to enjoy every moment. Not just for myself, either. Imagine how many people I would pass up who simply needed to be loved if all I'm concentrating on is my future. That's not what I'm called to live for. God will take care of my future for me. It's good to know I can trust Him with my life. It's just not always that easy to let go.

My parents and I are leaving the house in less than thirty minutes so I reckon I should get ready. Did I mention I can't believe 2009 is over already?



Lord, I need you in 2010 more than I've ever needed you in my entire life. Stay next to me, please. I can't live this life with You. I never want to go a day without the joy and the peace You provide. Give me the wisdom I need to reach others the way You're calling me to. Because I don't know the first thing about people. Teach me how to love. Teach me how to live.

Yours forever,

Hannah <3

A little on the bored side ;

So, I don't really have much to do. & it's not even ten yet.
I have my itunes up so I thought it would be kind of neat if I searched the song titles of the next ten songs that pop up on shuffle.
The most interesting image that comes up (& has something that remotely relates to the title) I'll post.
Yea, I am that bored.
:)

1; I Will Always Love You Whitney Houston

I picked this one because it is just an amazing book. :)

2; God Of Our Yesterdays Matt Redman

I love watching nature do it's thing. It really is awesome. It always reminds me of just how big & powerful my God is.

3; Take Me Home After Midnight Project

I want a puppy, I do.

4; California Copeland

I love Disney. Do you really need another explanation? ;)

5; Sadie Hawkins Dance Relient K

I chose this one because I went barefoot at my prom. Didn't even bring my shoes in. & I wouldn't have had it any other way. :)

6; Tonight FM Static

I just like it. & it feels like the song.

7; Walk By Faith Jeremy Camp

I just think this is beautiful. & it's like a family. All in one mind. All living for the same purpose.

8; Mr. Sensitive David Cook

I'm sorry. I think he's beautiful. Haha.

9; So Cold I Could See My Breath Emery

This is somewhere I would never choose to live.

10; Turn My Swag On Soulja Boy Tell'em

Haha, a light switch. That's clever.

Well, that successfully killed time. It's now almost eleven. I'm not sure if I'm gonna try to stay up to hear from my boyfriend tonight or not...

At any rate, I hope you all had a great Christmas! I know I did. There's something about the holidays that just gets me so ridiculously thankful for all I have that I can barely keep it in. It's like everyday I'm waking up wondering if it's truly possible to be this happy. It really blows my mind. Constantly.

Tomorrow is church day. Although, it's only just the morning service. Which is better than nothing. & I am excited that we won't be singing any more Christmas songs. I'm so very thankful that God sent his Son to save us but I do love my normal worship songs. It'll be good to be in His presence tomorrow, that's for sure. Even if all I'm doing throughout the service is saying "Thank you!" I couldn't imagine that he wouldn't want to hear that, anyway.

Jared's gone until the 2nd. Sure, I'd love to bring in the New Year with him. But it's not the end of the world. And it's not something I'm going to fight for, either. Who am I to ask him to break his traditions? There's no way I would do something like that. It's just a silly American holiday anyway. Just because I don't kiss him at the stroke of twelve doesn't mean our relationship is going to fall apart in the coming year. There's more to it than that, Thank the Lord. And it's good that my parents get me to themselves for a whole week, as well. I hate that when I come home from school I hardly hang out with them. There just isn't enough time.

I am so excited about the trip to the mountains. Like, seriously. I really want it to get here for the reason of going on a trip & seeing Jared again. But at the same time I don't want to rush it because that means it'll be closer to time for me to go back to school. Which, at this point, is something I'm mostly dreading. I'm hoping that'll will change. I should probably change the hoping to praying. That always proves to work a little better.

I should go. This blog is probably ridiculously long.
Have a great night. :)

It's the most wonderful time of the year ;

I saw this picture & had to use it. It reminded me of the year we moved into this house. We were moving over the Holiday break so we didn't have the time to put up decorations and stuff. I remember drawing a Christmas tree on paper & taping it to the wall of my old house so that we'd have something to put the presents under. I was 10 years old. & boy was life simple then. Ha. The truth is my life is simple now. At least compared to everyone else, it seems. I see the things my friends are going through and I can't help but feel like everything is handed to me and handled for me. I mean, yea, I have my problems. Heck, I'm not going to have a vehicle for the next eight months. But that's nothing compared to the problems other people have. It's only a car. I was blessed to have it as long as I did, even. It's not that I'm asking for a hard life. I'm just floored and how easy I have it. God has been so gracious and merciful to me. And for what? It's not like I've done anything to deserve it. I just don't understand. Then again, I don't think I'm supposed to. Oh, the wonder of my God.

Anyway, it's almost Christmas! I'm so excited. And for the first year it's not because of the presents. Heck, I don't even remember what I'm getting. And I really don't care. I'm looking forward to waking up & watching the parade with my parents, enjoying the delicious meal my Mom's going to cook, and just thanking God for all of the amazing people I have in my life. And I'm so thrilled that I get to see Jared! I really didn't think I was going to be able to. With him having so many family things going on we barely get to see each other over the holidays. As much as I would love to spend them with him, I'm okay with it. I don't feel like there's a need to rush things. And I'm so glad that we got that cabin for a few days up in the mountains. It'll be good to hang out with friends and just relax before the new semester starts. It's going to be a doozy, I know it.

Speaking of school, I got my grades in yesterday. I did fairly well. Especially for not putting in a whole lot of effort. I had 5 As, one A-, one B+ and one B. My GPA is a 3.667. Everyone seems to be really proud of me. I thought it was going to be a lot harder in college. And, I guess, in a way, it is a bit more challenging. And I'm sure it'll only get harder from here. So I better buckle up for the ride. It's important for me to stay focused and keep my head out of the clouds. Which is kind of hard when you have the most amazing boyfriend on the planet. But that is a risk I am willing to take. ;)

I haven't gotten my check from playing at graduation yet. I'm kind of getting anxious about that. I know it's not much but when someone says they're going to pay you, they need to pay you! It's just a little frustrating. I am thankful, though, that I'm getting paid at all. I guess I should be saying that instead of complaining about it. Man, it is so hard trying to be perfect. Haha.

I'm pretty much on cloud nine right now. Today has been wonderful. My whole life is just incredible. I wish I could live it the way I'm supposed to. Because God deserves nothing less for all that He's given me. But like I said, it's hard trying to be perfect. And I fail more often than I succeed. But my God is gracious. And I am oh so thankful.

Immersed in the greatness of space ;

I know, its been entirely too long. I apologize. The past few weeks have been crazy busy, though, with Thanksgiving and the end of the semester. Speaking of the end of the semester I am so glad its almost over! Just one more exam tomorrow morning & I'm home for break. :) Of course, I do have to come back up next weekend to play for the graduation ceremonies but at least I'm getting paid for that.
I think, overall, my first semester of college has been a success. Especially for me not knowing exactly what to expect out of it all. I have no doubt that I'm pulling As and Bs in all of my classes. This is encouraging to me since I know I could have put more effort in. So, maybe if I try harder next semester my grades will be even better. I really need them to stay the way the are so that I can keep my scholarships. I can hardly afford what I'm having to pay now. I guess, technically, I can't even afford that since I have a couple of loans. But I am very thankful I can go to school. That is for sure. :)
I can't even tell you how excited I am about spending a whole month at home. Well, roughly a month. I haven't spent more than a few days at home since the summer so this should be great. I'm sure, though, that it won't feel like enough time. But a month is better than a week or two. No doubt about that. I want to watch a lot of movies. And just enjoy the company of my family and friends. That's what makes the holidays great: the people you get to share them with.
I need to start packing some of my stuff up. That way I can leave as soon as I finish my writing exam tomorrow. And then after I pack some I need to study for that exam. I say study but its more like prep work. I need to figure out what I'm going to write about and get an outline & stuff worked out. Hopefully doing all that work will help me get in & out of there quicker AND get an A in the process. Ha.
Yea, I should go pack. I'll try to update a little more often over the break. In theory, I should have a lot more time to do so but you know how it goes with trying to catch up with old friends and what not.
Ah, I'm thrilled. :D