how would i know the morning if i knew not midnight?

so, happy wednesday! i know i had a good one! it was the best day this week actually... well if you include last night into today. which wouldnt exactly be fair because that was yesterday. you wanna hear about it dont you? well, as soon as i get back from the bathroom ill tell you all about it! ive been drinking a lot of water lately...

okay, i feel much better now.
my day (and i guess last night too):
so the happiness all started last night, after practice of course. practice is a whole different story. and i dont know if ill feel like telling that one after all this. anyway, so after practice i came home and got ready cuz jared was taking me to chili's. thats my favorite place to eat. he's an incredible boyfriend, really. <3
so we go to chili's and it was a lot of fun. i feel like the more we're around each other the more we open up and its gotten to the point where we can really be ourselves around each other. which is completely amazing. i cant even explain how happy i am when im with him. so we went to chili's and we ate. i told him to get something different, cuz he always gets those fajitas. he's not very good at the whole improv, on the fly kind of stuff so i try to help him spice things up a bit! lol. so we ate, and it was good food. he told me lauren eats everything in the house so he took my leftovers home for her to eat. funny stuff. oh and i guess it was kinda late so we weren't getting ice in our drinks. it was funny. we were all joking around like "did they run out of ice??". so i go to the bathroom and i come back and jared has ice in his tea and im like "what?! where did you get that??" apparently a manager came by and jared was like "did you guys run out of ice?". lol. so he got ice. i thought it was a good story. so on the way home we joked and stuff and all i kept thinking about was how lucky i was to be in a relationship with this amazing guy.
wow, enough about all that. sorry, guys.
so today:
it all started with me getting to go play jazz at the elementary schools. yay jazz band. i was kind of nervous at first. and at red bank there wasnt really anything exciting about it. but when we got to carolina springs i felt really important. the kids there were enthusiastic and i really had a great time playing for them! when i was watching student-teacher interaction my heart got so full of excitement. i realized that i really DO want to be a teacher and i really want to teach kids that age. after seeing that i am SO excited about teaching! i dont know how in the world im gonna be able to wait 6 years before i get to be in that position. geez, im just so excited! its good because, ive had my doubts about it. i never ever thought i would be a teacher. the whole thing is just crazy. but, AH!, im thrilled. i cant wait to get to college and get out and start working! :]]

anyways, after playing we didnt really want to go to 2nd block so lauren spires and lauren foulks and i went to sonic for a java chiller, mmm, and then to walmart. i was looking for ideas for valentine's day stuff. i didnt get much. but im sure ill come up with something...
then we came back for band class. which was cool. i love our music. and spencer is always so much fun to sit next to! i am really gonna miss her. she has been a good friend of mine since the 3rd grade. college is definitely bittersweet. i have to leave so many amazing people behind! :[
after class jessica, lauren, and i went to subway for lunch. i didnt do my econ homework so when lauren suggested we dont go to class i was like "im in!". so needless to say i didnt go back to school. well, to get my car. but thats about it. it was a good day. i was hoping my movies would come in the mail today, in fact i was pretty sure they were going to. i was wrong. kinda bummed. but i watched the secret life, american idol, and the bachelor.
man, i cant wait to see monday's episode of the bachelor. its gonna be really good, i can tell.

im leaving here soon. to go to church. i hardly go anymore! i need to get back into that routine. really. because it does make a difference in me. whether i want to admit it or not. i dont want to be like everyone else. and when i feel like im drifting that way i get really frustrated with myself. some things in me need to change. i know that. i just dont know whats gonna happen next. i know what needs to. but i dont know if im gonna do what i know i need to. i dont know why... it just needs work. that's all. I need work.

ive had a good afternoon off. but when i get back from church i have homework i should do. i have this map that was due in regional studies at least a week ago. i dont even know if he knows i havent turned it in yet. he's a weird person. regional studies is a weird class. im in a weird mood about school now a days. some people refer to it as senioritis. i guess that fits.

my future:
it looks bright.
it looks exciting.
it feels so close.
it also feels like i have a dark, dense patch of... something... that i have to push through before i can get to it.

so, here i go.
ima keep living and get one step closer to my future.