coffee, dan, and a bus loop.

so there's this guy...

yea, the one on my left. he's adorable. he sings better than i can ever imagine anyone singing. and im thinking i need to meet him. and i will. i promise. so if anyone's interested in going to the American Idol top 10 tour when it comes to columbia, let me know. because i will meet David Cook. and he will meet me. if he doesnt fall in love with me, well, thats his loss. haha. =P

and uhm, excuse me? what are you doing? i doubt you even know. but i have no room to talk because half of the time i dont know what im doing either. but i just have one thing to say to you:

e naymmo tu lyna ypuid oui. yht e ruba oui naymewa dryd. es kmyt fa ryja yhudran oayn du ryhk uid, palyica e naymmo fyhd du kad du ghuf oui ajah suna.

lol, im sorry. i couldnt pass up the translator. you've turned me into a complete nerd.

hey. so im sorry for being so uncertain all the time. i know one thing, and thats that i dont want to begin anything right now. its not good for me or you. because i have things im holding on to. things that i still have hope for? and im sure you kind of knew that. but you're awesome, dont forget that. =]

so ive been killing to see Phantom of the Opera again. like thats gonna happen anytime soon... haha. im gonna rent the movie soon, we have netflix now. im kind of scared to watch it though for fear that itll suck compared to the live show. but oh well, it wont hurt to try.

24 days of school. im so happy. even though ive gotten myself into a pretty time consuming job. it could be worse though, i could still be at wendys making less than $200 every two weeks. im sorry, but i need more money. and if 8 to 5, monday through thursday is what gets me that, then so be it.

im excited to see what comes next. its crazy how quickly things change. one minute you think the world's crashing down on you, and the next it seems like you have an amazing future to look forward to. maybe im bipolar? ha, kidding. im just glad i have a God to run back to every time i screw myself up.

im hurting for you, i hope you know. maybe you dont want me to, but i am anyways. i miss you and im sorry for all the stuff you've been through lately. i still love you. please know that. im just sorry that i dont know the right way to deal with these things. and im sorry if ive failed you as a friend.

i think i should go "study" for my spanish test now? or maybe ill just sleep. i havent been sleeping well lately. maybe ill get lucky and tonight will be the night i sleep amazingly well. ohhhh, i hope so.

goodnight, beautiful.

if we try hard enough, im sure we could forget it

so here i go.

i have been appointed the honor of woodwind captain for the 2008 marching band season.
my very last year is approaching. im excited. its gonna be a good one.

my best friend is my drum major. i always knew she was good for something. ;]
alex is the other drum major. and hes so adorable. so it fits. ha.

me and nathan are partners for life. woodwind captain and brass captain. thats how we roll.

band has gotten me all happylike. i went to all my classes today. yay for me.
im gonna stop skipping class and im gonna start getting a's again.
and before i know it, my junior year of high school will be over.
it seems to have lasted FOREVER!

27 school days left. i guess it could be worse.

Mr. Turner is an extremely nice person. i like him alot.
and im glad Mr. Bussell isnt completely abandoning us. he's done a lot for me.
i have good luck with running into people who change my life.

im gonna go take a shower now.
because i can.

=D

oh, would it be alright if we didnt say goodbye this time?

wow. obviously ive been really busy lately. because its been over a month since ive posted anything. its reasonable to say that i have a lot to talk about. and yea, i guess i do, but half of all the things that probably need to be talked about most likely wont be. i cant say why that happen exactly, but it does.



the big news is i went to new york. and i had an absolutely amazing experience. it was probably the best trip ive ever taken. but it was bittersweet. im scared to mention why for the fear that others might think things about me that arent true. or maybe they are true. i dont even know. but thats normal for me.



a few days in the big city seems to have been just what i needed. i mean, id like to think that i figured something out while i was away. but theres no telling with me. all i know for sure is that i loved being in new york. and i wouldnt have traded that experience for the world. i really wouldnt. in fact, i would do it again tomorrow without hesitation. however, i doubt i could live there. i dont have the patience. ha.



there's a picture of the city from the top of the rockefeller center. that was probably my most favorite part of the whole trip. i had never seen anything more breathtaking. who wouldve thought that industrialization and technology could be so gorgeous? it was definitely a shocker for me.


ill be honest you were kind of getting on my nerves. i dont know what it is. maybe its just awkward for me. but after a while i didnt want to be around you because i couldnt take it. i dont want to ask you to stop though, because i know its not that easy. you cant just stop. i just have to change something with me. because its not gonna work this way.


i have no earthly idea how to feel about you, on the other hand. youre crazy. and this whole thing came from out of no where. and its like im stuck in the middle. i couldnt possible choose which way to go with it right now. in fact i feel like it will be a while before i figure out what is going on. if theres one thing ive noticed about myself within the past year its that i dont know what i want. and this is probably the weirdest thing ive ever been through. ugh.


i started thinking about you again. and that just throws everything out of wack. i hope youre doing great. we hardly talk. and i would be lying if i said i didnt miss it.


i just want everyone to know that i feel completely blessed. my best friends are absolutely amazing and it feels like every second that im with them is the most fun ive ever had. i love them to death. i wouldnt trade them for anyone else. honestly. theyre great.


despite all the change we've been forced to deal with lately, i dont think im used to it. im not ready for more change even though i know its coming. im tired of it. i want something consistent.

and i feel kind of far. i dont know what it is. obviously its not you. youre still there, and even though i cant feel it, i know it. so i guess ill just wait. i dont know what im doing but i hope it doesnt involve giving up in anyway. theres no way i could make that stupid of a move. at least thats what im hoping. ah, please dont let go. please.


i have concert festival in the morning. im kind of excited. i get chick fil a for lunch! haha. =]
good times.