For all time ;

Do you remember when we were just kids
& cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss?
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
& laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not.

I wanna break every clock;
The hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now? Hey, hey is it over now?

I wanna be your last first kiss
That you'll ever have.
I wanna be your last first kiss.

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does;
We end up hurting the worst the only ones we really love.

I wanna break every clock;
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now? Hey, hey is it over now?

I wanna be your last first kiss
That you'll ever have.
I wanna be your last first kiss.

Is it over now? Hey, hey is it over now?
Is it over how? Hey, hey it's not over now?

I wanna be your last first kiss
That you'll ever have.
I wanna be your last first love
That you'll ever have.
'Til you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide,
I wanna be your last first kiss, for all time.

- ANBERLIN -


A lot of things in life have changed. It's as if there's a "grown up" button somewhere that has all of a sudden been pushed. I stepped out of high school and my world has flipped in a way that I would never have imagined. Life hits you like a ton of bricks and as I look around I see reality in a way that I never have before. Things happen. And they happen to anyone and everyone. How blessed am I that I am not being touched by such things? How blessed am I that all this suffering is not something I have to deal with? These challenges that all of my friends and family are facing are so real. And yet so out of reach. Like I'm living in a completely different world. Here I am so happy with my life: I don't have a single complaint. And in the midst of my euphoria, people are hurting. People are struggling. And people are having to grow up entirely too fast. What have I done to warrant such a shield of protection over my life? I can't deny that I feel useless. Helpless. Ignorant. What do I know of this life? Nothing but what good it can bring. I know I should be thanking God for this abundance in my life & I do every day. But it's hard when I have a heart so full of compassion and love that it breaks every time I see someone hurting. I don't want to go through what they're going through. But I want to be able to help and empathize with them. I don't know how to deal with things & I don't know how to be there for them. Maybe that should be my prayer. Lord, teach me how to put this compassionate heart to work. Teach me how to reach out and effectively lift the spirits of the broken.

I need a break. I'm exhausted. Just two more weeks until break.

Ha, I think I'm exhausted. I can't imagine being in their shoes. I don't see how they do it. They're strong people; Every single person who is having to struggle.

I have so many selfish desires. I need to get rid of them.

You make me smile, please stay for a while now ;

I am currently listening to my roommate sing along to her iPod. She cracks me up. I'm really blessed to have been placed with her. We get along so well.

My first recital was yesterday. I was pretty nervous about it. But I surprised myself with how well I played. Of course, it wasn't perfect. But I know now that I can do it. & I can do it pretty well. Or in Hough's words, "Not bad!!". That comment made my day. I guess you'd have to know Hough...

We also had a concert last night. Which I thought went pretty well. My boyfriend came up to be that amazing supporter that he is! What did I do to deserve such an amazing man? Nothing. & yet I have him. Oh, the grace of God. What can compare? Right, absolutely nothing.

I'm excited to be at church again on Sunday morning. It had been a few weeks since I had been in the the presence of God & it was such a good reminder of how awesome He really is when I went last week. There really is nothing compared to being in the presence of God. I can honestly say, even as amazing as my boyfriend is, that in His presence is the only place I feel complete. I hope I never forget how it feels.

I am so ready for summer. Just 74 days. Actually, just a break would be nice. Spring break is only 17 days away. It's going to be nice. Hopefully I'll get to catch up on sleep. I think I'm really starting to get exhausted. But I still feel blessed to live such a full life! :)

I should probably fix myself some lunch. It's 1:30. Since when do I wait that long to eat? I guess I've just had other things on my mind this morning. It's nice to be able to enjoy my day without running around. This week has been so crazy.

It needs to get warmer outside. Like today. I don't want another day to be below 60 degrees, thanks.

It's time for me to get up & away from this computer.
I love all of you! Have a great weekend! :D

This snow is pissing me off.

Why did I ever think this would be a good thing?
Of course, its not safe for people to travel 90 miles in heavy snow.
I wish I would've thought of this before I started counting down the hours until I saw Jared.
Now, who knows?
I might not see him until tomorrow afternoon at best.
I'm really in a horrible mood right now.
I've been biting my tongue for the past half hour.
It's kind of a miracle that I'm not crying, actually.
That's what I do when I'm mad, if you didn't know.

The worst part is I got all snappy with him.
As if it's his fault that there was a freak South Carolina snow storm on Valentine's Day weekend.
I just don't know how to feel.
I hate disappointment.

{ I M A B }

Hello there! So, it is officially the weekend. Valentine's weekend if you want to be exact. I'm excited about it. Not just because it's Valentine's day. Mostly because I get to spend it with my love. I am very excited to see him. I don't like going two weeks at a time without seeing him. But, at the same time, when I do see him those two weeks are completely worth it. This weekend should be fun. :)

It is supposed to snow today. I'm also quite excited about that. I'm sure everyone back in Lexington is excited too. Because of the snow I'm not going to service learning at the Boys & Girls club. That's good because there's a lot I can do here. But that also means I'm going to be volunteering twice next week. I'll be fine. I'm probably going home next weekend anyway, so it'll make for a busy & short week.

Eight Below is on TV. I haven't seen this movie in a very long time. But I like it. Not to mention Paul Walker is very easy on the eyes. ;)

I don't really have much to say. Katherine's asleep in my chair right now...

I guess as far as an update on what's going on, things are still going pretty great. School's going well. I think I'm really getting into the college habit & the whole thing is started to come easier to me. Amanda & I want to live in Roddey next semester, which are apartments on campus. They're one bedroom but they have a kitchen and a common area. It would be cool to have some more space. Sophomore girls get first priority so we're just crossing our fingers that we get a place. I guess otherwise I'd just live in Thomson again. I don't know, though. I'm kind of banking on Roddey.

I hate how with our refridgerator the milk always goes bad a few days before its supposed to. I had a whole half of a bottle left & when I went to pour it this morning it was not good. Not good at all. Luckily I bought another half a gallon at Walmart yesterday. Speaking of milk I may very well want some cookies & milk right about now... At four I plan on starting some laundry. Then after laundry I'm gonna hit up a practice room. Then after I practice I reckon I'll do some homework & cleaning while I wait on Jared to get here. :)

Yea, those cookies are starting to look reallyyy goooodddd.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Love!